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Natural Male Enhancement Techniques - The Honest Truth

By C.Y. Lai

Everyday your email inbox is stuffed with the latest spam on latest "natural male enhancement" products. If that is not enough, you get to see the same advertisements on TV, Radio and TV. The advertisers would have you believe that their products are the only way to make your penis bigger and are 100 % "natural". So the question is: do natural male enhancement techniques really work? In this article you will learn about 3 natural male enhancement techniques, and which is the best enlargement method.

#1. Natural male enhancement pills

Most enhancement pills do contain useful ingredients that may help to improve your overall health and enhance sexual performance. However, you can't be sure how well the ingredients blend interacts with your body. When you take an enhancement pill, majority of the ingredients will be destroyed by the acid of the stomach. Only a small percentage of ingredients will pass through intestine for absorption process. If you take a poor enhancement pill with cheap binders, it will pass through your body without absorption.

Almost all of natural male enhancement pills claim to be "100% safe and effective". However, the claim is groundless. As these pills are not regulated by FDA, their safety and effectiveness are not guaranteed. In fact, you will notice the following small print at the bottom of advertisement: "These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA)." Indeed, the FDA, the government agency that regulates medications and medical devices, has never approved any medications or devices for enlarging a penis."

#2. Penis Pump

This device consists of a cylinder tube. The tube aims to create vacuum environment around penis to force blood flow into penis. In the past, the tube is used to treat patients with erectile dysfunction and circulation problem, i.e. men who can't erect at all. If you do not belong to these categories, penis pump will not help you at all. Sure enough you will observe increase in erection size after "pumping", but the result is not permanent. It will fade off after few minutes.

# Penis exercise

It's the only effective natural male enhancement techniques. According to survey by pegym.com, men who practiced penis exercise observe average growth of 42%. It works by forcing more blood flow to penis to enlarge erection size. Besides, it helps to improve penile strength and build sexual stamina.

There are many free penis exercise available on the internet. However, it is highly recommended that you pay a small fee to join programs with personal coaching and supports to ensure you are using the right approach.



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What Male Enhancement Pills Really Work to Make You a Man's Man?

By John Corkin

Male enhancement pills have been all over late night TV. Famous race car drivers, football coaches, and other people promise that taking a pill will make you larger. The fact is, some of those pills contain dangerous ingredients, and while some make you larger, they cause painful scarring of blood vessels in the shaft of the penis. This makes erections painful. In some men, scarring can be so severe that erections become impossible.

There are exercises meant to stretch the penis, and increase girth. These exercise are dangerous to the untrained man, and they can cause irreversible harm to the penis. There are vacuums and pumps meant to enlarge the penis, but most of them are dangerous. They can cause blisters, ligament damage, and damage the testicles if improperly used. If a man needs a pump, he should see his Urologist for information. They are trained to handle men's sexual problems very well.

For the man who is average-sized, between four and seven inches, who only wants to be larger, topical gels are available. These products can be chemical or made of natural ingredients. They temporarily increase the size of the penis by dilating the blood vessels in the shaft, allowing better blood flow to the glans. This is the safest method of increasing size, and it is temporary.

Few male enhancement pills work and those that do can be unsafe. Pumps are best obtained from a Urologist, and those only increase girth and length temporarily. Topical ointments are best for safety.



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Don't Be Fooled by Natural Male Enhancement Pills - Learn How to Enlarge Your Penis at Home

By Todd R. Smith

It seems like every few commercials you see one talking about natural male enhancement. All these companies are selling pills that claim to make a man larger. The question is, do we really make a man grow larger? The way they talk is kind of misleading. The only thing that pills do is give you a harder erection. They don't make you gain inches. That's why they never say they can make you gain inches. The companies would be sued for everything they have. If you really want to grow, check this out.

What you need to do is throw those pills away. Then you need to find out the correct way to do the penile enlargement exercises. By it's just that simple. By doing in these exercises, you can grow Massive Size. No pill will ever make that claim.

What you know what exercises do if they strengthen your PC muscle. The PC muscle is the muscle that stops you from urinating. This muscle can make you grow very large when it is strengthened. All you need is 20 minutes a day, your hands, and some determination. This method has a 95% success rate. That means that eyes are you will grow.

Try this exercise. Your PC muscle is the muscle you squeeze to stop yourself from urinating. This is the muscle that you'll be using for this exercise. Squeeze your PC muscle for about 15 to 30 seconds and then release it very slowly. Do about 10 of these daily. This is called the slow squeeze.

This is the best way on how to larger penis at home. You don't need any pills, silly pumps or stretching waits for that matter. All you need is either a good coach, or a good program that can teach you how to do the exercises correctly. This is the best way to learn how to enlarge your penis at home.

Are You Serious About Gaining Size To Your Penis Length, Thickness To Your Girth, And Rock Hard Erections? If So, Click Here [http://rapidpenisgrowth101.com] And Get Your Hands On The Free 5 Day E Course That has Helped Hundreds Of Men And Counting. Check Out [http://rapidpenisgrowth101.com] For The 5 Day Free E Course.



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Healthy Lifestyle to Enhance Penis Size

By Richard Handmen

Why is health necessary in getting a big penis? What's the relation between being fit and enlarging your male organ? For one thing, if you're healthy then there will be no difficulty in accomplishing your goal. Imagine this scenario: You've attained your desired size for your penis and you established a good stamina for your sexual life but the glitch is you have health crisis like heart condition or you quickly get tired. So, what's the use of your success if you can't maintain it due to your unhealthy body?

Now, the only way to be fit is to live a healthy life. Diet and exercise are going to be your building blocks to be called healthy living. Changing your lifestyle will be tough and understandable if there is some hesitation but being physically fit will give you many advantages.

Top 5 Habits that should be Change:

1. Smoking
2. Drinking too much Alcohol
3. No Proper Diet
4. Being a Coach Potato
5. Stress all the time
6. No enough sleep

3 Things you have to do to Stay Fit:

• 3- Drink Water- What comes out must come in! Water comes out of your body by sweating, so you need to replace that by drinking plenty of water to avoid dehydration.
• 2- Proper Diet- What you eat is what you get! If you eat healthy foods like fruits and vegetables then you stay fit. If you're more on eating fatty foods or more red meat then most likely you'll get in trouble and the worst part is you'll gain weight. Yikes!
• Top 1- Exercise- Be energetic! Let your body move by going to a gym, do jogging, walk down the park or ride a bike.

If you are struggling to increase the size of your penis then start thinking about your health as well. When you're healthy then you can enjoy the satisfaction of having an outsize penis without hassle.

Richard Handmen is a Penis Enlargement researcher and aut


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Coaching the Alpha Male

By Kate Ludeman
Expert Author Kate Ludeman

Highly intelligent, confident, and successful, alpha males represent about 70% of all senior executives. As the label implies, they're the people who aren't happy unless they're the top dogs - the ones calling the shots. Although there are plenty of successful female leaders with equally strong personalities, we've found top women rarely if ever match the complete alpha profile. Alphas reach the top ranks in large organizations because they are natural leaders - comfortable with responsibility in a way nonalphas can never be. Most people feel stress when they have to make important decisions; alphas get stressed when tough decisions don't rest in their capable hands. For them, being in charge delivers such a thrill, they willingly take on levels of responsibility most rational people would find overwhelming. In fact, it's hard to imagine the modern corporation without alpha leaders.

Then why do so many of them need executive coaches? As it turns out, alphas' strengths are also what make them so challenging, and often frustrating, to work with. Independent and action oriented, alphas take extraordinarily high levels of performance for granted, both in themselves and in others. As one business journalist observed after meeting Jack Welch and Andy Grove in a single week, "Jeez, are they impressive and stimulating! But am I glad I don't work for them."

The alphas we've worked with think very fast, and this rapid processing can prevent them from listening to others - especially those who don't communicate in alphaspeak. Their impatience can cause them to miss subtle but important details. Alphas, moreover, have opinions about everything, and they rarely admit that those opinions might be wrong or incomplete. Early in life, alphas realize that they are smarter than most people, smarter perhaps than even their parents and teachers; as adults they believe that their insights are unique and so put complete faith in their instincts.

Because their intuitions are so often proven right, alphas feel justified in focusing on the flaws in other people's ideas or arguments. As a result, coworkers get intimidated, which makes learning from alphas difficult. The more pressure an alpha feels to perform, the more he tends to shift his leadership style from constructive and challenging to intimidating or even abusive. Organizations become dysfunctional when people avoid dealing with a difficult alpha and instead work around him or simply pay him lip service.

Unemotional and analytical in their cognitive style, alphas are eager to learn about business, technology, and "things" but have little or no natural curiosity about people or feelings. They rely on exhaustive data to reach business conclusions but often make snap judgments about other people, which they hold on to tenaciously. Because they believe that paying attention to feelings, even their own, detracts from getting the job done, they're surprisingly oblivious to the effect they have on others. They're judgmental of colleagues who can't control emotions yet often fail to notice how they vent their own anger and frustration. Or they dismiss their own outbursts, arguing that the same rules shouldn't apply to the top dog.

The more executive authority alphas achieve, the more pressure they feel and the more pronounced their faults can become. Alphas make perfect midlevel managers, where their primary role is to oversee processes. But as they approach CEO level, they're expected to become inspirational people managers. Unfortunately, most organizations aren't good at helping alphas make the required transition, which can be the greatest challenge of their careers.

Alphas require skilled coaches because it's difficult for them to ask for help or even acknowledge that they need it. They're typically stubborn and resistant to feedback. After all, they haven't gotten where they are by being self-reflective. As much as they love talking about accountability, they often fail to see that their own communication style, rather than someone else's shortcomings, is what's creating the roadblock. They're uncomfortable showing vulnerability or taking a break from constant action. The coaching process can make them feel unproductive and out of control.

But effective executive coaching enhances individual capabilities; it doesn't remake the alpha into an unrecognizable powder puff. The coach's challenge is to preserve an alpha's strengths while correcting his weaknesses. Coaches shouldn't undermine the alpha's focus on results; they should improve the process for achieving them. For the alpha, that distinction is of paramount importance.

In 2001, Dell embodied the corporate alpha archetype; its tough culture was all about getting results. But as the company matured and the tech industry faced its worst downturn, then CEO Michael Dell and president Kevin Rollins felt a need to change how the organization achieved its industry-leading results. They wanted to improve teamwork between the two of them and other senior executives, and they aimed to develop a more mature and welcoming corporate culture.

Michael and Kevin were respected throughout the organization for their intellectual acumen and superior judgment. But they were also considered demanding and, at times, intimidating. Not surprisingly, most general managers at Dell were cut from the same cloth and exhibited classic alpha leadership styles. Given their deeply analytic natures, Michael and Kevin began the change process by collecting data-inviting us in to conduct 360-degree interviews across the entire Dell executive team. This was not the first time that Dell had engaged us in executive coaching, but it was a more intense and focused process, driven by extraordinary commitment from the top.

Receiving critical feedback is never easy, but at Dell it has become an important part of the culture. Michael and Kevin set an example for other leaders by accepting difficult messages from their team and making visible commitments to the coaching and improvement process. The 360 feedback helped Kevin realize that his image as overly critical and opinionated was hindering his ability to inspire the organization. People thought he wasn't listening because he jumped in so quickly with his own suggestions, instead of building on their ideas. In his efforts to help his general managers improve their business performance, he was making it difficult for them to appreciate his input.

Michael, for his part, came to see that his intense analytic focus at times made him seem remote and "transactional"- even to his most-valued colleagues. Through the 360 process, he learned that his people found him hard to read and craved more direct feedback. He was surprised to hear that his attitude of "celebrating for a nanosecond" had made people feel they were only as valuable as the last quarter's results. Michael and Kevin also received feedback that tension between the two of them was causing anxiety in the executive team-something no one had been willing to tell them previously.

They resolved to improve their individual and joint leadership of Dell by agreeing to make only those major moves they both supported and to take their relationship from "good enough" to "great." As a symbol of this commitment, they built adjoining offices separated by a glass door that's always open. What started several years ago with a top-down personal commitment to change has subsequently enhanced organizational goals, modified the profile of the ideal Dell general manager, and launched a culture initiative called the "soul of Dell." Michael, along with all Dell senior executives, receives 360-degree feedback on a regular basis, ensuring that the data collected are as fresh and objective as possible.

Alpha Coaching Traps Like most alphas, Michael and Kevin needed help to step outside the constraints of their style and see themselves as others do. But alphas require a certain kind of coaching. The executive coach best suited to alphas has lots of experience handling superstars and standing up to bullies. The coach doesn't have to be an alpha, but it helps to share characteristics such as an analytic orientation and a direct style of communication. When executive coaches fail to help alphas and their organizations, it's often because they fall into one of three traps-each of which can stop the process cold.

First, some coaches make the mistake of playing "loose and light", they come across as too passive, simply reacting anecdotally to the alpha by falling back on their own nonexecutive experience and perspective. Alphas aren't loose and light people, and they won't see the coach who acts this way as either credible or relevant. After all, thinks the alpha, the kind of person who becomes an executive coach is far too nice and touchy-feely to ever understand what it really takes to deliver results. If an alpha believes his coach plans to turn him into an oversensitive wimp (which he knows better than anyone is the last thing his organization needs!), he'll never give the coach a chance.

A second trap coaches fall into is excessive secrecy. Coaches understandably want to maintain a high degree of confidentiality during their work. Some think that the way to get an alpha to open up is to reassure him that no one else in the organization will find out about his vulnerabilities. By attempting to protect the client, a coach can unwittingly create an organizational black hole: Much effort goes into it; nothing ever seems to come out. But it's important not to operate in a vacuum. Only by seeking input from coworkers can the coach truly understand the issues surrounding the alpha's behavior. And only by talking openly about his commitment to change can the alpha turn around the pervasive organizational distrust he has created.

Coworkers must be included in the coaching process because lasting improvement requires the entire system to evolve. In many companies, coworkers are advised to manage around the alpha's behavior, which inadvertently enables and perpetuates the undesirable patterns. But as much as coworkers may have hated the behavior the alpha is learning to modify, at least it was predictable. When the alpha's behavior begins to change as a result of coaching, he becomes unpredictable. This can be terribly unsettling to colleagues unless they are included in the coaching process.

Possessing both intimidating personalities and genuine power, alphas expect the world to show them appropriate deference. But coaches should avoid the third trap-kowtowing-at all costs. This can be the difference between establishing a constructive relationship or an irrelevant one. It was with George Allen, former deputy commander of the Defense Supply Center Philadelphia, a $10 billion business unit of the Defense Logistics Agency. George is a typical alpha male. At one of our first meetings, he charged into the room, ignoring our outstretched hands, and announced, "Let's not waste my time and yours. I've been like this for 30 years, and it's highly unlikely I'll change."

Instead of trying to politely persuade him to sit down and review the organizational feedback we'd brought with us, we said, "Fine,you're busy, and we could certainly use the four hours to do other work. Let's not waste your time or ours, if you don't want to make any changes." We started to close the big binder filled with brightly colored graphs mapping out his strengths and weaknesses."Wait!" he commanded. "What's that?" That shift in interest was our first step toward establishing an effective coaching process.

The Right Way to Coach

Any executive with interpersonal problems has probably gotten feedback many times before we come along-so either he's never fully understood the problems or he just doesn't see any advantage to changing. Over the past 14 years, we have refined the process of coaching alphas to account for their personality quirks and help them see why they need to change their behavior.

Get his attention. The best way to capture the alpha male's attention is with data-copious, credible, consistent data. That's why we always get 360-degree feedback on our clients. We interview all the alpha's direct reports, a half-dozen high potentials reporting to his direct reports, all of his business unit peers, and anyone in the organization with whom he competes. Our goal is to provide undeniable proof that his behavior doesn't work nearly as well as he thinks it does. We let the data shape our questions. If we're told he is a poor communicator, for instance, we press for specifics: Does he interrupt people? Is he vague? Does he not listen? Does he fail to share information? Then we ask about the impact of his poor communication skills: How does his rapid-fire style affect your work?

A 360-degree assessment is a wake-up call for most alphas. They say, "Wow, these are people I deeply respect - strong performers - and they think that about me? I can't believe they're afraid to push back or that they think I'm stubborn and closed to their opinions."

Demand his commitment. Once we get the alpha's attention in this way, we have the leverage we need to make him address unpleasant issues. Because he is both practical and driven, if you can show him an easier way to produce immediate results, he will typically embrace it. But before we go any further, we insist on the alpha's full commitment to the change process. We clarify his intention with two simple questions: Do you want to change? and Are you willing to do whatever it takes, including allowing us to help you?

We wait until we get a clear yes or no, pointing out any nonverbal cues that imply he isn't committed (like saying yes while shaking his head no). If the answer's no, we don't continue. Trying to work with a defensive leader who isn't committed to change only wastes our time and his company's money.

Speak his language. Since alphas think in charts, graphs, and metrics, for maximum impact, we present our data that way - in alphaspeak. We turn the feedback collected from 360-degree interviews into metrics and then inundate the alpha with quantitative data to make sure he values the information enough to act on it. We summarize in a bar chart verbatim responses to 360-degree feedback, illustrating in a powerfully visual way the risks inherent in one individual alpha's style. He immediately can see his areas of strength highlighted in green and the areas requiring improvement in red.

Hit him hard enough to hurt. After delivering the 360-degree feedback in graphical form, we review and discuss the verbatim comments from his coworkers, organized into competencies and themes. The alpha might be confronted with statements like, "He's brilliant, but he doesn't know a thing about people"; "We feel as though we've all been raked over the coals"; and "His need to engage in intellectual sparring and always prove he's right alienates the team."We deliberately preserve the emotionally loaded language we've heard to help the alpha realize the consequences of his behavior. Many alphas have been dishing out feedback with a two-by-four throughout their careers, and our process turns the tables on them. Since they believe in "no pain, no gain, "they respond remarkably well to hard-hitting language. We regulate the level of pain, keeping it high enough to get their full attention but also presenting the changes as attainable. This is the point at which lip service frequently gives way to genuine understanding. One of our first alpha clients summed it up memorably: "It's like I've got interpersonal B.O.! I just never understood until now how bad it was."

Engage his curiosity and competitive instincts. Blunt feedback invariably triggers defensiveness. The alpha generally believes that everyone else gets defensive, whereas he simply speaks the truth. We point out signs of his own defensiveness and show him how this mind-set prevents him from learning. Another alpha metric tool, the Defensiveness-Openness Scale, has proven highly effective in engaging the competitive instincts of alpha leaders. Defensive behaviors like delivering long-winded explanations, expressing subtle blame, or trying to figure out who made a particular comment all earn poor marks. Asking the alpha to monitor his own defensiveness motivates him to see how quickly he can catch himself and shift into a more open frame of mind.

Five Steps Toward Alpha Growth

To change, the alpha must become more aware of his own motivations, more open to his peers' contrary opinions, and more comfortable with public challenge. He also must learn to deliver feedback that's useful rather than traumatic. When coaching an alpha client, we focus on five goals that will help him become a motivational leader of high-performing teams.

Admit vulnerability. In our experience, when an alpha admits he is afraid or asks for help, the impact on his team is profoundly positive. So it is a key milestone when an alpha expresses a fear or exposes a vulnerability.

Dell's corporate culture began to change when Michael Dell and Kevin Rollins shared the results of their 360s with their executive team and, eventually, with thousands of Dell managers. Disclosing their imperfections was an uncomfortable stretch for them, but that action humanized them in the eyes of the team and made them more inspirational to the rest of the organization.

It's natural for the alpha to want coaching and feedback to remain private. But the motivations of his colleagues can't be ignored. Some people might want to settle the score, others may be expecting the alpha to finally acknowledge all their hard work, and some may even want the soap opera to continue. Public disclosure helps clear the air, enabling the entire organization to move forward.

When an alpha discloses the traits he's working to improve, it helps convince his team that he's serious about changing. Questions from the alpha like "How can I support you?,""How can I connect better with you?"or "How can I lead you more effectively?" address old grudges in new ways, opening a whole new dialogue across the organization. The stronger and more dominant the executive, the more powerful the impact of disclosure.

Accept accountability. Alphas tend to feel very accountable for their own performance, but they have difficulty accepting responsibility for their impact on other people's performance. We've never found an alpha - or anyone else, for that matter - who doesn't try to shift the blame for performance problems to someone else. The blame is often subtle, but as long as it remains under the surface, problems won't get corrected. In fact, until the alpha accepts ownership for his share of a problem, it simply won't go away.

When thinking about accountability, we suggest that alphas use the "rule of three": If a problem occurs just once-for example, if someone on his team misses one significant deadline-it might very well be that another person is solely responsible. But if it happens three times-if, say, the same individual misses three deadlines or three different people miss significant deadlines - then the alpha must take some responsibility and ask himself what he should be doing differently.

Alphas frequently pin a pejorative label on a skill they don't possess to sidestep accountability. One alpha client, for example, used "politics" as his excuse for not accomplishing certain goals. We helped him see that it wasn't politics - the real problem was that he had only one tool to get what he wanted: the hammer. "Politics" was a smoke screen for not knowing how to persuade people to change their opinions.

Paradoxical as it may sound, when a leader admits he's wrong and needs to change, he comes across as more confident and courageous than when he insists he's right. That's what U.S. Rear Admiral Dan McCarthy, head of the Naval Supply Systems Command, found when he asked us to help him improve communications flow in light of new challenges created by Operation Enduring Freedom. A big man with a forceful personality, the admiral initially responded to feedback delivered in a group meeting of 30 of his senior executives with a lengthy explanation and justification. But he caught himself and publicly acknowledged his defensiveness, taking full responsibility for the problem and the way his style contributed to it. Initially astonished, his team members quickly began to follow his example, identifying ways they each could improve communications.

Connect with underlying emotions. The alpha doesn't like emotions because they cannot be controlled. He believes they impede logic and impair decision making. He will acknowledge that they play a role in motivating certain kinds of people in, say, a sales rally. But they don't play much of a role in motivating him, which makes him distrust them. Ironically, though, the alpha is often teeming with unacknowledged emotions that in reality cloud his judgment. He tends to be out of touch with his feelings until they erupt in anger. And beneath that anger often lurk other emotions. Sometimes it's fear that his company might take the wrong path; sometimes it's disappointment that he hasn't guided his team more effectively. Such subliminal fear and anxiety can be a real problem for alphas, because these feelings may be confused with intuition. (Is that flurry in the belly anxiety or a prescient intuition that something is off?) So it's important for alphas to learn to distinguish intuition from anxiety.

Our coaching focuses on getting the alpha to recognize his underlying emotions long before the big eruption occurs. Tying emotions to physical sensations makes the process seem more concrete. If we can help the alpha feel an emotion more fully, it is less likely to burst out at inappropriate moments. If the alpha can tell when his feelings are beginning to intensify, he can channel them constructively and avoid a temper tantrum.

Balance positive with critical feedback. Alphas feel uncomfortable both giving and receiving praise, and they are adamant about not appearing soft. A strong manager, they say, is comfortable "telling it like it is." As a result, about 80% of the conversations an alpha leader has with his team will contain critical comments.

Underlying the alpha's reluctance to express appreciation is a self-perception that he does not require, or respond to, positive feedback. We help the alpha see that people reflexively react to criticism with defensiveness and resistance, whereas a balance of positive and negative feedback is more likely to motivate people to change. We don't try to replace all of an alpha's criticisms with validation; we want him to use both.

A brilliant alpha executive we recently coached has an uncanny ability to identify what's missing in a business solution. This has led his teams to scores of technological breakthroughs, and yet it wasn't enough to inspire individual performance or the commitment of his people. After many coaching sessions, we began to notice that, although he was generally open to our ideas and willing to take action, we weren't having much fun working with him. His lack of feedback or acknowledgment was discouraging, even to us.

When we shared that insight with him, he was dumbfounded." But I'm spending all this time with you. I wouldn't be doing that if I didn't think I was getting a lot out of it." His words made sense, but what had seemed obvious to him was not obvious to us. He realized then that his tendency to criticize rather than validate was triggering self doubt and fear in his most valuable team members. So he made a list of what he appreciated about each person on his team - not task-specific feedback but comments more reflective of each individual's overall talents and contributions - and shared them publicly. His team now enjoys an esprit they've never had before.

Jim Gibbons, president and CEO of the National Industries for the Blind, is the rare alpha who easily expresses appreciation. In an off-site team-building exercise, he wanted his entire executive team to experience the power of praise. So we asked all present to note their energy levels before and after a 20-minute period in which each of them expressed appreciation to everyone in the room. Though dubious, the team complied. At the end of the exercise, to universal surprise, everyone reported higher levels of energy and optimism. Every team we work with reports similar results. Since the alpha tends to think everyone else is just like him, he often worries that people will equate praise with manipulation. He fears that if he tells people they're doing well, it will go to their heads, they'll stop working so hard, and they might even want more money. We help the alpha identify his fears about showing appreciation by having him complete two sentences:

o When people give me appreciation, I often think that ____________________.

o If I gave someone appreciation, I would be afraid that ___________________.

Then we work with him to identify barriers he puts up against receiving appreciation. These can include discounting, deflecting, putting himself down, explaining, distracting, joking, and countering by returning a compliment. Finally, we help him learn to express appreciation effectively. An expanded version of "good job" usually isn't enough to motivate people. We tell the client to list all the people on his team, as well as all the peers he depends on for his success. Then we ask him to write out what he values in each person. For maximum impact, such feedback must be genuine and specific. It must explain how the person's performance helps the alpha and the business. The alpha then must express his positive feelings to the individual, restating his appreciation several times-with different wordings-so that the person really "gets it."

Become aware of patterns. David was an inspiring and insightful CEO, but he had a temper problem. He was usually warm and easy to connect with, but in tense meetings, he would invariably become angry and flushed and speak in a sharp, staccato tone that intimidated people, even though he never raised his voice. To help David become aware of this destructive behavior pattern, we looked for its roots. We asked him to recall the first time he ever reacted in this way, and he remembered being four years old and hitting his six-year-old brother over the head after his brother stole one of David's toys for the hundredth time. And his brother never did it again. David roared with laughter when he realized he'd basically been using the same pattern ever since. He acknowledged that this approach was unlikely to motivate his senior executives.

We both see and are seen through our personas-through the roles we see ourselves playing or the roles others see us in. They act like distorted lenses and color the world according to their needs. The Rebel reflexively sees the world as full of people to be acted against. The Driver thinks the world needs supervision and discipline. The Jock views others as either winners or losers. Our projections intertwine with the projections of others, so authentic connection and communication become nearly impossible.

To get around this problem, we tell the alpha that any extreme behavior or recurring pattern signifies that he's fallen into one of his personas. By giving the personas names and revealing how they work, we can begin to make the alpha more conscious of his behavior. Bulldozers, for instance, will plow through people if they think that's what's needed to get the right thing done. Some of their team members then become complaining Victims, who withhold good ideas because they don't want to get run over by the Bulldozer.

Getting team members to give up these unproductive personas is a by-product of coaching the alpha. An executive team at a Fortune 500 pharmaceutical company, which had been extensively coached on personas, was debating whether to go ahead with a new acquisition. As the intensity of the discussion escalated, the group split into polarized camps. The CEO and COO pushed hard for the acquisition, while more conservative executives held back. The room crackled with tension. Suddenly the CFO, a large, gruff man, commanded the attention of the room by waving his arms and bellowing, "Mr. Rant and Rave is about to show up, and I can't stop him!"

Laughter instantly broke the tension. By naming one of his own dreaded personas, he masterfully stepped beyond it. His self-awareness cleared the way for the group to review facts with a cool head.As a result, the CEO abandoned his Wheeler-Dealer persona, and the CEO and COO conceded their original position, thus avoiding a risky acquisition. Had the unconscious version of Mr. Rant and Rave appeared, no one would have laughed. The other team members would have escalated the drama, tuned him out, or disappeared, and the meeting's objectives would have been forgotten. Instead, his awareness and honesty spurred others to let go of their defenses and move toward a constructive resolution.

What to Expect from Coaching Prospective clients ask how long the coaching process takes and what kinds of interim results they can expect. The answer varies widely, depending on factors like how broad the organizational involvement is in the coaching process, how committed the individual is to it, and how fully the culture of the company accepts it. For some alphas, 360-degree feedback followed by a half day of coaching and a few phone calls are all that's needed for noticeable change. Alphas who are less self-aware usually need a half day of coaching sessions a month for three to 12 months.

Changes in behavior typically begin to show in three to six months, as the client harvests low-hanging fruit from our initial coaching efforts. Sustained changes take about a year. But the goal of coaching is to change the entire team dynamic, not simply to treat the alpha as an individual problem. After two years, an organization can be well on its way to transformation, with a dysfunctional and combative executive team turning into a collaborative and trusting one.

The alpha's time and attention span are limited, and it's not unusual for him at the beginning of the process to pay only lip service to the coaching objectives and avoid fully committing himself to the required behavioral changes. He needs to identify appropriate situations where he can begin to apply the new tools and approaches. Once an alpha gets to this point, you can count on him to follow through. As he begins to see the results of his behavioral changes, he initiates a powerful cycle that reverberates throughout the entire organization.

Kate Ludeman, a widely recognized executive coach, speaker and author, founded Worth Ethic Corporation in 1988. Her BS in engineering and PhD in psychology give her a unique approach to leadership coaching when working with analytical, data-oriented executives who want to create cultures where people perform at their peak.



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Mentor Me - How to Select and Use a Mentor to Enhance Your Career Success

By Jean Caton
Expert Author Jean Caton

Who needs a mentor? Aspiring entrepreneurs, successful business people, those just starting out, and everyone who wants to be a successful and career confident woman or man can benefit from having a mentor.

Chances are we have all had a mentoring relationship of some type. Many of us are mentors to others. In a recent by CareerWomen.com, 64% of the respondents indicated they have a formal or informal mentor. Successful women frequently credit a mentor for helping them advance in their career.

I am fortunate to have identified mentors throughout my career who have generously shared with me business contacts, resources, tools, and tips that has enhanced my corporate and entrepreneurial success. My transition from a 20-year career in a large organization to owner of a small business was supported by numerous mentors
from the Greek Classics to the modern business world: The descriptions of Mentor, a character in Homer's Odyssey, from which we derive the term mentor, give insight into the mentoring relationship.

Homer's character Mentor is a person of deep trust, a wise old man, and an elder who instills knowledge and guides one to find the answers he seeks. In the modern world, a mentor does the essentially the same thing. A mentor can provide advice, facilitate networking with key contacts, accelerate progress on the learning curve, help you navigate the organization's culture, guide decision-making, and be a source of feedback and motivation. Perhaps some of the most beneficial roles of a mentor are to empower, inspire, and believe in you and your success potential.

Finding a mentor who is right for you: The first thing to consider when seeking a mentor is your goals. Define what you are looking for and where you need a mentor's support. Then, observe success. A good mentor is someone who has been there and done that. She/he is someone who has the knowledge and insight to provide value consistent with your goals. Observe the strengths of your managers, peers, and colleagues in your network.

Consider those who have strengths in the areas you most need to develop. Ask them to be a mentor for you. If you want to be part of the formal mentoring program in your organization, don't wait to be noticed. Ask. Asking for what you want often is one of the most daunting things for many mentor worthy individuals. If you are uncomfortable speaking up, speaking out and asking for support such as a mentor then this becomes your number one goal for your work with a mentor or a coach.

Other ways to find a mentor is to participate in volunteer and professional organizations both within and outside your profession organizations. You may even consider a long distance mentor with whom you can speak regularly by telephone.

Tap different expertise. You need not limit yourself to one mentor. Have an entire "Advisory Board of Mentors" if you are fortunate enough to find people who are willing and capable to serve in that capacity.

Female or male mentor: Selecting a female or male mentor again depends upon your goals. Cross-gender mentoring can have many benefits. Men and women typically have different strengths. Males can provide guidance in developing the skills to work in a male dominated field; men often have good negotiating skills and are usually the majority of the senior leaders in an organization so they can help with advancement of your career by facilitating your relationships with other senior leaders. Women's strengths include dealing with the gender bias, building a network of business relationships, team management...

Be mentor worthy: Use your mentor's time productively. Complaining or whining is not a constructive use of your time with your mentor. Here are ten tips for a successful mentoring relationship.

* Know what you want and have clear goals for the relationship.
* Communicate your expectations to your mentor
* Be open, honest, and direct with your mentor.
* Establish priority issues for action or support.
* Come prepared to each meeting with issues to discuss.
* Don't expect your mentor to be an expert in every facet of business.
* Ask for and use resources and contacts with other members in the organization
* Solicit feedback from your mentor. Don't take constructive upgrades personally
* Recognize the feedback of a good mentor is in your best interest.
* Take action. Even when your mentor asks you to stretch outside your comfort zone.

Have a mentor and be a mentor: Be a mentor- enhance the journey of another by sharing your time, wisdom, insight and experience. Don't doubt that you have something to offer another in a mentoring relationship - you most likely do. Here are 12 tips to help you be a good mentor.

* Establish clear expectations and boundaries for the relationship
* Create a positive constructive atmosphere.
* Allow mentee choice to accept, reject, or ponder advice.
* Listen and hear both what is and is not being said
* Identify opportunities and offer decision-making guidance as well as solutions.
* Use a problem-solving, coach-approach, asking questions and soliciting mentee input.
* Offer honest and direct feedback. Don't avoid tough conversations.
* Share stories, including mistakes from personal experience- your career "do-overs."
* Request mentee do 'homework' to enhance growth.
* Serve as a connecter to other business colleagues by inviting to lunches, meetings, etc.
* Be open and solicit feedback from mentee
* Be fully present in mentor meetings.

Divorcing your mentor: Mentoring relationships will eventually end. One reason is that expectations of the mentor or mentee are not met. Other times there are clashes in personalities or styles. Pitfalls around "fit" are not uncommon. It is also possible to outgrow the mentoring relationship. Establishing a mentoring relationship with an 'until death do us part' attitude is not the best approach.

A good way to avoid a problem ending a mentoring relationship is to establish time boundaries and expectations at the beginning of the relationship. A three-month period of weekly meetings is a good starting point. Either party has the choice to request an extension of the relationship at the end of the expected period. Moving on and finding new and different mentors is worthwhile. A new mentor can further expand your knowledge skills and perspectives. You are never too experienced to benefit from the support of a mentor.

Jean Caton is a Career, Business, and Life Coach, Speaker, and Virtual Educator. She has over 20 years of business experience working in four Fortune 500 companies. Now, as an entrepreneur, Jean combines her practical experience in business, with her education and training, to coach, teach, inspire, and empower others.

Jean helps women move to the top in their careers or small business. Her clients strengthen their business savvy and expertise and develop the self-confidence required to advance to increasingly higher levels in their organization or business. Take a taste of what Jean can offer you by requesting a complimentary telephone coaching conversation. http://www.JeanCaton.net You may also get a sample of Jean's expertise by joining one of her complimentary preview teleclasses


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Manual Exercises to Enlarge Your Penis - Are They Really Effective?

By Michael Eskelson

In today's time of advertising blitzkrieg - you could be left confused and awestruck at the sheer number of 'male enhancement' products that are vying for consumer attention mind space on the net and elsewhere. Over and above the plethora of pills, potions, ayurvedic and Chinese herbs, ultra modern gadgets and devices, growth supplements and so on, there is another regimen of 'male enhancement' advices which are unobtrusively flowing out from all corners - manual exercises to enlarge your penis. No drugs, no prescriptions, no side-effects and no contra-indications.

The only question that you are left to answer is if they really deliver what it promises?

Without beating around the bush, let me answer the question upfront. Yes, manual exercises to enlarge your penis, actually work, provided you follow the instructions provided and maintain the frequency recommended. Perhaps the only side-effect is when there is no-effect, if you break the exercising schedules or do not follow the instructions, designed scientifically after taking into consideration, all the physiology that works behind a strong and long penis.

Perhaps the first thing you got to remember when you are thinking of manual exercises to enlarge your penis, is that nothing comes easy, especially, when you are attempting to enhance one of the most important organs of your body. If it was, every man who walks on this earth would have a 10-inch penis, right?

The truth of the matter is that to get best results from them, you not only have to have patience (growth of an inch or two could take a few months) but also make some serious alterations to your diet and lifestyle. Having herbal supplements like cayenne pepper, gingko and hawthorne have been known to positively impact the final outcome of manual exercises to enlarge your penis.

One pertinent question that could still be bogging you down at this stage is how to perfect the art of doing them? According to many, watching videos is the best way, as this completely cuts out chances of making mistakes somewhere in the process of practicing. Of course, there are plenty of programs available on the net aimed to coach you.

The second way to get the best results from them is to buy a program which can answer all your questions. After all, this is the first time you are trying out things like stretching, Kegels or Jelqs - you ought to have several unanswered questions in your mind and you need expert guidance in all matters pertaining to the male enhancement.

Finally, you have to keep in mind that any product that promises sustainable results is far from being gimmicky. Manual exercises to enlarge your penis also fall in this category. Practice it diligently according to instructions and the results are in your hands earlier than you imagined.

Ar


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Is Extenze Reliable?

By Don V. Simpson

In today's culture it is not uncommon for a man to have to feel insecure about the size of his penis. Everything we see and read about in advertising, television, and especially porn tells us that we need to have a humongous manhood, and will have to be able to sustain an erection for several hours if we will ever hope to have a chance at pleasing a woman sexually. It doesn't help that the other men we know reinforce this belief, too. From the university to the workplace, from locker rooms to bars, we hear men themselves carry on about the importance of size and girth. Given the massive importance society as a whole attaches to manhood, is it any surprise at all that many men feel inadequate about how they measure up?

It is a fact that most men worry about their sexual performance, however a good portion of these men have no need to stress about it. The average penis size is approximately five and a half inches, and the average duration of sexual intercourse (actual thrusting) is between three to five minutes. If you are able to do that, then male enhancement is not necessary for you to increase your partner's sexual satisfaction. There's nothing wrong that you cannot correct on your own. What you can do is try slowing down and offering more foreplay. Pay attention to your partner's needs, and focus on what your partner's body responds too. Listen to her body's subtle signs. If she tells you what she wants you to do, so much the better. Go ahead and do it. Do not be insulted over the coaching she gives you. Instead, use it to your advantage. This will go a lot further than any herbal pill.

However for some men, this is not the case. They truly do require an extra boost to help them along the way. For these men, Extenze is absolutely something that they should consider. For those of you asking the question, " is Extenze a Scam?", the answer is both a yes and a no. No, because it really does work and can offer some people exactly what they need to have a happy and fulfilled sex life. Yes, because there are so many misinformed people out there who are tricked into buying something they don't even need in the first place. Extenze will not work for everyone. However, it will work for those men who do in fact have a smaller than average penis (compared to normal people, not porn stars), men who have problems with erectile dysfunction or difficulties becoming aroused (remember that if you're new to sex, it's more likely that your erectile dysfunction problems are due to nervousness rather than the need for male enhancement), and men with extreme premature ejaculation(once again, if you are new to sex, it's more likely that you just need practice). If this does not describe you, Extenze probably cannot help you.


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What the Makers of Penis Enlargement Pills Don't Want You to Know

By Teddy Shabba
Expert Author Teddy Shabba

As an advice coach for men, everyday I am fortunate enough to get to help empower men in many different aspects of their lives.

However, many men come to me with self-image problems after they already have made a small problem or non issue worse simply by doing something that no one until now has taken the time to warn them of the dangers of doing it.

Perhaps you are wondering what could possibly be so dangerous or harmful to men if no one has bothered to take the time to warn them about it.

Well, the problem is that men with average to above average penis sizes have begin to take and use a variety of different penis enlargement methods only to discover too late that the size of their penis is too big for many women to even attempt to have sex with them.

Perhaps it is a coincidence but what's happening is men who subscribe to my sexual health newsletter have been taking my advice in regards to products I have recommended for men who have a penis size smaller than 4 or 5 inches no matter what the size of their penis is.

In fact, as of late I have considered no longer recommending that product in my newsletter, not because it doesn't work, rather because it works too well.

Yet, since there are some men out there who truly do need it, I will continue to recommend it in my newsletter.

Just as long as you guys with average to above average sizes realize that it is possible to become too big for most normal women to be comfortable with you inside of her.

Teddy Shabba has been helping men attract and date women in an empowering way for over 5 years now.

He has a daily newsletter that will provide you with a wealth of information on how to be more successful with women.


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